Kindness In The Kin-dom
October 6, 2024 - Luke 6: 31-36
The definition of political violence is hurting or threatening to hurt a person or group of people for political reasons.[1] Studies show that over the past decade, there has been a steady increase in political violence and threats against public officials.[2] Neighbors have turned against neighbors, too. Late last year, a Reuters piece covered the killing of Anthony King by his neighbor Austin Combs, because Combs suspected the man next door might be a Democrat.[3] There is of course another entire category of violence that is fueled by hatred of a person due to other identity aspects, including race, religion, gender, and sexual orientation. This violence is ongoing, far too close to home, and I would argue very much political. One notable instance that captured local attention last year was the closing of McHenry County’s UpRising Bakery after it received near unrelenting harassment and threats of violence for its announcement that it intended to host a family friendly drag brunch.
Jesus too lived with the presence of political and identity-based violence. Citizens of Rome typically enjoyed exponentially more rights and economic advantage than the people in the Judean hillsides Jesus lived among. Jesus himself was killed in an act of state-sanctioned violence not because he himself threatened harm to anyone but because those in power feared his power. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” was not simply a comforting maxim he imparted to followers. It was disruptive to the way people typically behaved in this context of violence. And if you ask me, I think it is disruptive in our context of violence as well.
Maybe you don’t feel that you face the threat of physical violence every day. Perhaps you can better relate to the threat of emotional harm that is too often carried out between family members, co-workers, or even strangers interacting in traffic or online. It’s natural to respond to even the threat of emotional harm by reacting in equal measure or by completely cowering. Scientists who study humans are now often listing not just fight or flight but also freeze and fawn. When we’re stressed our bodies fill with hormones that often override our ability to respond calmly and rationally. In this state, we can end up hurting others or further injuring ourselves.
In order to “do unto others as [we] would have them do unto [us],” we have to step out of that typical way of responding to the threat of harm. We have to interrupt that cycle of violence that begets more violence. It’s disruptive to the status quo. It may sound like simple and sweet advice, something that is even passed around as a “golden rule.” But it has real power to change things. When we refuse to respond in violence or fear but rather meet people with dignity and respect even when they fail to treat us that way, we can change situations, relationships, and whole communities.
Jesus makes very clear that he’s not asking his followers to simply be kind to those who are kind to them. No, he talks about loving enemies and about how hard but rewarding it is to be kind to people who aren’t kind to you first. Have you ever seen this in action? I have from time to time. The truth is it doesn’t always work. But sometimes it really does. And the truth is that I would rather see you be safe than kind if it comes down to it. I love you all too much.
But I have seen it work. It wasn’t political but this summer the weirdest thing happened to me. I was driving down McLean. I must have moved from my lane somehow or did something erratic. It didn’t seem like much to me. But the car behind me took enormous offense. He began laying on the horn and pulled up right alongside me to swerve into my lane and sling curses at the top of his lungs. That was scary enough. But then he did the most dangerous thing – swerved right in front of me and came to an abrupt stop. I had to slam on the brakes and almost didn’t make it. He was still cursing at me by turns in the rearview mirror or leaning out his open window. I’m not exactly sure where what I did next came from because I was afraid. What if he decided to get out of his car? What would I do? But I rolled down my window and said as loudly as I could, “Are you okay?” He stopped. “What?” he asked. “Are you okay? Did I hit you? Do you need something? Are you okay? You seem very upset.” He threw up his hands then, shook his head, and drove away.
The thing is. Whenever someone is that upset. It’s really not about us. And whenever we are that upset, it’s usually about some deep hurt or fear that we’re not quite naming or holding as gently as we might. We can fight fire with fire. But it usually won’t solve anything. Instead, we can try treating ourselves and others with mercy and kindness. “Be merciful,” Jesus teaches, “as your heavenly parent is merciful.”
Eugene Peterson’s poetic rendering of this selection of scripture ends this way: “I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never–I promise–regret it. Live out this God created identity the way our [heavenly parent] lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our [heavenly parent] is kind; you be kind.” Not everyone is going to be kind. We are not always going to be kind either. But there’s this other way of being – this God created identity as Eugene Peterson puts it – that calls us to see each other as part of a wider community – a family even.
Jesus refers to our shared heavenly parent. We’re all kin to each other. And I know family is as hard to get along with as anyone. That’s not quite what I mean – that we’re related. It’s more that we’re all connected. What hurts you hurts me and vice versa. That’s one of the reasons some of us like to talk about the Kin-dom of God. It’s a gender neutral term for the realm of a being that has got to be way beyond bound by any mortal notions we have around human bodies. But it’s also a way of saying we are all “inextricably linked.”
No matter who we will vote for in November, No matter where we worship or if we worship or how we take communion, No matter if we are feeling particularly welcoming or grumpy today, No matter who we love or how much money we have or where we grew up, we are all connected. “Doing unto others” isn’t a cute maxim. It doesn’t mean we all like the same things either. It means we want to care for each other and we want to take the actions we can to make sure all of us have more of what we need. It means stepping out of the cycle of political violence not by not having an opinion or being a doormat but by remembering we are all part of the same family. And treating each other the best way we know how.
Jesus calls followers to this. And scientists tell us it’s actually also contagious. Kindness that is. In their book, Good People: Stories from the Best of Humanity, Gabriel Reilich and Lucia Knell cite the way humans witnessing other humans being kind statistically tends to beget more kindness. Their book is filled with stories of kindness that they hope will only engender more of it in their readers, too. While the physical and emotional harm we see in the world is very much real, so is the power of the kind things we do to knit ourselves closer together.
It’s not in any book but the real life story I carry in my heart about neighbors loving neighbors comes from my own block. It didn’t matter much that we didn’t hold the same political or religious views. I wish I could say it was my idea but it wasn’t. It was my neighbor Toni. She’s got to be one of the most observant, thoughtful, and kind people I know. I’m glad she moved onto my block. You see she heard our neighbor Val one day, when she sighed and said how much she loved the porch swings three of the rest of us have on Rugby Place. She laughed then and said it was probably because she didn’t have one herself. But she hoped maybe she could get one.
It was a comment that could have been overlooked but Toni took action. She got on our neighborhood text thread and organized our financial, purchasing, shipping, and hanging coordination to surprise Val with her own swing. It took weeks to get it done. But one day there was a knock on Val’s door. Her husband, two children, and as many of us neighbors as could be mustered stood in her front yard with mischievous smiles on our faces, as her brand new porch swing rocked in the breeze. Later that night, I could spy Val across the street, still swinging late into the evening, a blanket wrapped around her, and a content smile filling her face. This act of kindness didn’t stop Val’s breast cancer from taking her from us less than a year later. But it made her heart glad and knit the whole neighborhood that much more closely together.
I know it’s not always easy. I know that violence is real. But so is kindness and so is unbreakable connection to each other. No matter what the next few months bring in our world, nation, neighborhoods, and homes, may we remember that connection and do our best to treat others with the dignity, respect, and kindness we all deserve.
May God help us to do so. Amen.
[1] Hardy Merriman, Harnessing Our Power to End (HOPE) Political Violence, 22nd Century Initiative and the Horizons Project, 2024. Online
[2] According to American University’s Polarization and Extremism Research and Innovation Lab. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/why-political-violence-and-violent-threats-are-on-the-rise-in-the-united-states.
[3] https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-politics-violence/
