I Did Not Know I Was Lost

Written by Blaine Miner

June 2, 2024 - Romans 12: 1-2

Two weeks ago, we flew to Kansas to begin our orientation as Co-District Executive Ministers in Western Plains District of the Church of the Brethren.  Our “guide” entered an address to the G.P.S. app of his phone and we were directed to our destination. Before G.P.S, there was the Rand-McNally maps to plan trips. I still occasionally pull out the atlas to review places I/we have been.

I frequently ask Nancy to put in our destination into her G.P.S. app. I don’t want to get lost. I don’t want to waste time. The G.P.S. function is great for not only direction, but how long will it take us if we drive straight through. No stops for meals, gas, bathroom breaks. But that is not the only way to be lost. Maps and G.P.S. are great if you have the correct information. A map of Illinois will not help me in Indiana or Iowa. G.P.S. coordinates entered for Des Moines, IA will not get me to Indianapolis.

The story of the rich young ruler addresses another form of being lost. “Teacher, what do I need for eternal life?” The young man is seeking something. The young man is out of sorts. He feels and senses that there is more to life than what he is experiencing. In spiritual direction he has hit a wall. He wants to know how to go around the wall. Can he scale it, dig under, circumvent the wall. He has done all he knows. He has kept the commandments, yet he knows there is more. And when he asks, Jesus tells him to let go of his possessions, give away his money, relinquish all that he has which defines him. I can imagine the young man deflates upon hearing those words. He is crestfallen. He cannot let go of all that defines him. He is afraid.

In our faith journey, we need to let go. Our fear is that we will be lost if we let go of that which defines us materially. Do we have enough faith to trust that God will see us through?

I grew up here. Some of you have watched me grow up here. There are those who were my peers as I grew up here. I have heard many sermons here. At one level I m the young man who asks what more do I have to do? This congregation is strong on Social Justice, trying to do the right thing, but in our drive to do the right thing, do we get what God is telling us to do?

The prophets of old would confront power and empire. Do we love mercy, do we walk humbly with God, how do we do justice? Does our road map of scriptures guide us clearly? Most of my ministry has been with those on the margin of society: the addict, the persecuted, the criminal. All are asking to be heard. Balancing my worlds of treatment centers, Mental Health Centers and prisons with the church has not been easy. I won’t get any easier as we move to Western Plains District. The challenge before ask are we using the right map?

The questions which we have before us are they the correct questions?

I needed to adapt scripture and theology for my sanity. Sin was a head game. The Alcoholics Anonymous language of powerlessness, I could relate to. Contrary to popular belief, we are not in control. We have lost our way when we try to control things.

Richard Rohr in his book Breathing Under Water speaks about our addictive behaviors. What do we rail against? What is our passion to protest, where is our enemy? What are we afraid of when we set litmus tests of belonging?

Are we ready to do a fearless moral inventory of our actions, our beliefs? Are we a peace church because of our beliefs or are we afraid of the violence we can inflict on one another? Do we fear one other being because it is different. And because it is different, unknown? Do we reject the maps of scripture because the path it might take us on? Are we afraid to change our path because we must admit we were wrong?

For those on a journey of recovery means doing and being different. Facing the harsh reality of believing lies, lived, and accepted. Owning past behaviors, the stigmas of wrong living. How would this congregation be different if more people perceived that they were accepted and valued for their personhood, their mental health status, their legal status, gender, and the list goes on. What are our boundaries, who do we exclude? Who is truly welcome?

I was lost. The language of the church did not help. The smugness of the church did not help. Part of my DNA forty years ago was not ready to be a pastor God’s crucible put me on the right path. Are we willing to be with those whose journey is not like ours? Are we willing to just listen to their story? Can we just be with the other person? Can we resist the need to fix? How do we be honest with ourselves? The path I found was an adaption of scriptures. As a result, I learned to be compassionate. Am I perfect? I have my moments. Telephone sales calls, poor customer service I can be downright rude and loud. I have had to apologize often and admit my error. Being powerless means a different way of living. Recognizing that my life truly belongs to my creator. The one who calls me into relationship, who loves me for who I am; foibles and all.

The freeing aspect of this is: I don’t have to worry if God loves me. However the map and rules set up by others, the intensity and the volume can cause doubt. I have experienced God’s grace more than I can count. The fact I graduated from college and seminary is enough for me to believe that God has a plan for me. Every time I think I am done; God says Not yet.

I need to stop and give thanks and work my program of letting go of being in charge. Philippians 4; Paul writes that we need to focus on what’s noble, honest, and pure because those things are of God. When I feel lost and bewildered, I go to that scripture to be encouraged and to stay on the path. On our journey are we willing to accept correction, can we refrain from being argumentative, are we open to listening to God’s whisper? Can we accept God’s voice when it is from an unexpected source, one we are not accustomed to hearing?

Being lost is no fun. Being lost is scary. Sometimes we do things because hey are familiar and comforting, but we are no less lost.

The good news is that if we recognize our powerlessness, we can move from being lost to being held in the arms of the one who has created us and redeemed us.

May it be so Amen.